So I'm going to preface this blog by saying that I feel badly for anyone who has recently lost their jobs and I know I should be happy that I even have a job ... but, I'm gonna vent about mine anyway.
I started my current job almost 6 yrs ago. 6 yrs in July, as a matter of fact. This is only my 3rd "real" job and I have been so lucky with all 3 HR jobs I've had. When I graduated college in '98, I was determined to get a job in HR. I had received my degree in HR Management and always knew I wanted to be in HR (My mom was in HR at Coke since I was 3, so it was all I knew.) But I digress... When I first graduated, nobody would hire me because I didn't have enough experience. Blah. How am I ever going to have experience if nobody will hire me? So I started working with some temp agencies, so I could pay the bills until the right job came along. That lasted about 6 mos and then I was placed on an assignment in Houston (I had moved there after college) as an HR Administrator to cover for a girl who was out on maternity leave. It was THE perfect starter job for me. I was the liasion for the Houston office and coordinated with the corporate office in Ohio. I had involvement in some aspect of every HR function and I loved it. I loved dealing with people every day, doing orientations, etc. The girl on leave decided not to return to work (yay me!) so they hired me full time. I stayed there a little over a yr and decided to move back home to Dallas, because my mom has MS and she was here by herself.
So I found a job in Dallas as a Benefits Administrator and it was a good job, too. For the most part. :) I was again able to be involved in most areas of HR and really enjoyed my job. After 3 yrs, I decided to move on (lot of unrelated issues factored into my decision.) And then I found my current job. I was originally hired on here to be the HRIS guru, for a lack of better words. I was going to be paid a lot more money than I was making before, and I liked my boss and co-workers, so why not. The commute was going to be terrible, but the pros outweighed the cons. The company was very family oriented and it seemed like a wonderful place to be.
We got a new CEO 2 1/2 years ago and the company has changed so much since then. My old boss is now gone, and I have a new one (in Houston). I have 2 co-workers that are still here (I'm the only one in Dallas though) and we have 3 new HR folks in Houston (including my boss.)
It was announced a few months ago that my office will be relocating to Houston. Some people are going to be losing their jobs, and others will be moving to Houston. By some grace, I was offered the option to still have a job, and work from home. But was told that my job would be changing pretty drastically. Ok, but I still get a paycheck AND I get to work from my living room - can't beat that kind of deal, right?
Well, the more I'm starting to learn about the direction my position is taking, the more I'm not really excited. In fact, I'm actually darn right worried and stressed about it. I am pretty much not going to be doing anything HR-related anymore- I'm getting all kinds of projects given to me that have nothing to do with HR. And in all reality, they are projects I'm not excited about, nor do I have interest in them. And I keep trying to remind myself that I got into HR to work with people. And I have always loved my job. Until recently. Do I really want to sit on my couch every day crunching numbers and working with stock grants and not having any outside commuication except for the occasional emails that come through? Is that why I fought so hard to pay my bills right out of college, waiting for an HR job to come along?
When do you get to the point where you have to settle, just to make it by, knowing that you're not happy anymore. When do you get to say that you want to do what you enjoy and potentially sacrifice the flexibility you've worked so hard to have? I can pretty much come and go as I please, within reason. I don't come in until 9:00 most days and I leave between 4:45 and 5, so I can make it to daycare before they close. Even as it is, I only get to spend maybe a total of an hour with Alex in the evenings, and most of that time is spent running around the house getting him fed, bathed, then put to bed. Then I feed the rest of us, and around 9:00 is when I usually get to sit down on the couch and relax.
But again I digress....
I know I should be thankful that I have a job. So many people don't right now. On the news just this morning, they said that the unemployment rate rose to I think 8.9% just in the month of April. That's horrible. And here I am, with a fairly well paid job, with lots of flexilibity, and I'm "complaining" about it.
But on the other hand, I miss what it felt like to enjoy my job, and I miss getting to talk to and help employees. I didn't get into the HR field for this.
So as I ponder all of this rambling :) please keep me in your thoughts and if you know of any HR leads in the Dallas area ... feel free to pass it on. Thanks again for "listening" to me vent!
Subject changer ...
I really think Alex is close to walking - finally. He will be 15 mos next Tuesday and he will still walk with his walker all day long, but won't walk without it. He will stand next to a wall, putting one hand barely on it for support, but won't let go. The last few days, he's finally started walking with us and his teachers, sometimes with just one hand. I hope soon he'll let go and realize he can do it. He's such a big boy. His teacher said he just needs the confidence to know he can do it. So we're going to be encouraging the heck out of him to show him he can do it. :)
Happy early Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there!