Lots of changes

Well we've had lots of new developments since my last blog. I really need to be better about posting on a regular basis.. but you know how it goes - life always seems to get in the way.

Not too much new news on my job front. I am still working (thank goodness) and my office has not relocated yet so I am still working in the office as opposed to being at home, which was the original plan starting June 1st. I did however have to move Alex to his new school on the 1st, and more about that in a moment. I am still very wary about the job thing. I do not feel like I have much direction at all on where my job is going (figuratively as well as literally) and that makes me uneasy. So I am trying to ride it out while I can and see what happens. I just have a bad feeling that it's not going to be a long term plan .. and that saddens me. I've been here 6 years, which is longer than I've been at any job and until recently I have always loved my job. There are SO many people out there that are being laid off and losing their jobs, and I feel so badly for them. I know I have no right to complain about the job I DO have.

So about school... Friday was his last day at his old school. I was very emotional leading up to his last day but actually did ok on the actual day. Only because his (and my) 2 favorite teachers were already gone for the day. Had they been there, all bets would've been off. His teacher wrote a very nice note on his daily sheet and if I'd read that while I was still there, I'd have lost it. But at least I made it to the car before I started crying, which is better than I thought I'd do. They have been so wonderful with him and he loves them. I hated taking that away from him. But with my job moving ... it just made practical sense.

So that takes us to yesterday. First day at the new school. Did fine until I had to hand him to the teacher ... and the flood gates opened. First for Alex, then of course for me. :( The teacher took him and he started crying and reaching out for me. We left, knowing that was the "right" thing to do. But we stood in the hallway, watching through the one way glass. He was still crying. I drove home (still crying myself) and logged into the wonderful world of video monitoring that his new school has, and he was fine. He was sitting off to the side playing by himself. Which is fine, but I felt bad for him. At his old school, he was one of four kids in his class and always had individual attention. Here, he is one of 12 and I just felt bad that he wasn't playing with anyone. You know how it is being the "new kid". (Yea they're only 15-18 mos and they don't technically "play" together, but still... ) When we left the school, the director told us everything will be fine and to give it 2 weeks. He will adjust just fine. I think I truly believe now that parents live vicariously through their children. I was feeling his pain of being in a new place, surrounded by strangers... and my heart hurt for him. But I know kids are resilient, and he'll be just fine. But that moment, when your child is crying and reaching for you, and you have to hand him to a stranger and leave... that's heartwrenching.

So this morning ... same thing. Except I was sitting at home watching my husband drop him off. He still cried, and reached out for him. But after about 10 min he seemed fine. I've logged on a few times today and he's been playing.

And on Sunday ..... drum roll please...... Alex took several steps (several times!) on his own!! Yay! Praise the Lord! We've waited so long for this day. And he's gone through so much to get here. I was SO excited for him. Below is a little video of it. He would literally catapult himself onto us when he'd reach us so I had to be quick with the camera but I think I captured the jist of it. :) And he was SO excited for himself which made it even that much better. By the end of the day, he was walking much further than in the video. The only catch is he'll only do it if we stand him up and point him in the right direction. He needs to figure out he can stand up on his own and I know he'll get there.

So that's what's new in our little world. I'll try to post more often - promise!

Job Woes

So I'm going to preface this blog by saying that I feel badly for anyone who has recently lost their jobs and I know I should be happy that I even have a job ... but, I'm gonna vent about mine anyway.

I started my current job almost 6 yrs ago. 6 yrs in July, as a matter of fact. This is only my 3rd "real" job and I have been so lucky with all 3 HR jobs I've had. When I graduated college in '98, I was determined to get a job in HR. I had received my degree in HR Management and always knew I wanted to be in HR (My mom was in HR at Coke since I was 3, so it was all I knew.) But I digress... When I first graduated, nobody would hire me because I didn't have enough experience. Blah. How am I ever going to have experience if nobody will hire me? So I started working with some temp agencies, so I could pay the bills until the right job came along. That lasted about 6 mos and then I was placed on an assignment in Houston (I had moved there after college) as an HR Administrator to cover for a girl who was out on maternity leave. It was THE perfect starter job for me. I was the liasion for the Houston office and coordinated with the corporate office in Ohio. I had involvement in some aspect of every HR function and I loved it. I loved dealing with people every day, doing orientations, etc. The girl on leave decided not to return to work (yay me!) so they hired me full time. I stayed there a little over a yr and decided to move back home to Dallas, because my mom has MS and she was here by herself.

So I found a job in Dallas as a Benefits Administrator and it was a good job, too. For the most part. :) I was again able to be involved in most areas of HR and really enjoyed my job. After 3 yrs, I decided to move on (lot of unrelated issues factored into my decision.) And then I found my current job. I was originally hired on here to be the HRIS guru, for a lack of better words. I was going to be paid a lot more money than I was making before, and I liked my boss and co-workers, so why not. The commute was going to be terrible, but the pros outweighed the cons. The company was very family oriented and it seemed like a wonderful place to be.

We got a new CEO 2 1/2 years ago and the company has changed so much since then. My old boss is now gone, and I have a new one (in Houston). I have 2 co-workers that are still here (I'm the only one in Dallas though) and we have 3 new HR folks in Houston (including my boss.)

It was announced a few months ago that my office will be relocating to Houston. Some people are going to be losing their jobs, and others will be moving to Houston. By some grace, I was offered the option to still have a job, and work from home. But was told that my job would be changing pretty drastically. Ok, but I still get a paycheck AND I get to work from my living room - can't beat that kind of deal, right?

Well, the more I'm starting to learn about the direction my position is taking, the more I'm not really excited. In fact, I'm actually darn right worried and stressed about it. I am pretty much not going to be doing anything HR-related anymore- I'm getting all kinds of projects given to me that have nothing to do with HR. And in all reality, they are projects I'm not excited about, nor do I have interest in them. And I keep trying to remind myself that I got into HR to work with people. And I have always loved my job. Until recently. Do I really want to sit on my couch every day crunching numbers and working with stock grants and not having any outside commuication except for the occasional emails that come through? Is that why I fought so hard to pay my bills right out of college, waiting for an HR job to come along?

When do you get to the point where you have to settle, just to make it by, knowing that you're not happy anymore. When do you get to say that you want to do what you enjoy and potentially sacrifice the flexibility you've worked so hard to have? I can pretty much come and go as I please, within reason. I don't come in until 9:00 most days and I leave between 4:45 and 5, so I can make it to daycare before they close. Even as it is, I only get to spend maybe a total of an hour with Alex in the evenings, and most of that time is spent running around the house getting him fed, bathed, then put to bed. Then I feed the rest of us, and around 9:00 is when I usually get to sit down on the couch and relax.

But again I digress....

I know I should be thankful that I have a job. So many people don't right now. On the news just this morning, they said that the unemployment rate rose to I think 8.9% just in the month of April. That's horrible. And here I am, with a fairly well paid job, with lots of flexilibity, and I'm "complaining" about it.

But on the other hand, I miss what it felt like to enjoy my job, and I miss getting to talk to and help employees. I didn't get into the HR field for this.

So as I ponder all of this rambling :) please keep me in your thoughts and if you know of any HR leads in the Dallas area ... feel free to pass it on. Thanks again for "listening" to me vent!

Subject changer ...

I really think Alex is close to walking - finally. He will be 15 mos next Tuesday and he will still walk with his walker all day long, but won't walk without it. He will stand next to a wall, putting one hand barely on it for support, but won't let go. The last few days, he's finally started walking with us and his teachers, sometimes with just one hand. I hope soon he'll let go and realize he can do it. He's such a big boy. His teacher said he just needs the confidence to know he can do it. So we're going to be encouraging the heck out of him to show him he can do it. :)

Happy early Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there!

And so it begins ...

I have always heard that parents are known worry warts. And that they second guess most decisions they make in regards to their children. Well, I am now in that same boat. And I know it's only the beginning.

Alex started attending a daycare when he was 5 months old (before that, my mom was keeping him.) These were the first people, outside of family, that we had left him with. A good friend of mine (whose daughter also goes there) recommended the center, and although I was not overly impressed with the center as a whole, I absolutely loved the baby room teacher. And after all, that's who he is going to spend all of his day with, right? Her name is Ms. Kamlah and I LOVE her. She is in her early 60s and has bookoos of years experience working with babies (12 years just at this particular center.)

Well, my job is going to be changing soon and my office is relocating from Dallas to Houston. Several people in my office are losing their jobs, and by some miracle, instead of losing MY job, the company offered me the option to work from home. That sounds like a dream come true, because I currently have an hour plus commute (one way) each day. And I'm nervous about the changes to my job duties, but that's a whole other topic. The only other thing is Alex's school is currently half way between home and work, and once I start working from home, it won't be convenient at all to get to anymore.

So we made the decision to move him to a new daycare, right by our neighborhood (5 min drive). Fantastic, right? Yea. Except that I feel HORRIBLE for taking him away from his friends and especially Ms. Kamlah. Last night when I picked him up, I was talking to her and there's been lots of changes recently - new director, teachers leaving, etc - and I asked her what her plans were for herself. She said that she would be lying if she said she was still happy there, and that she does not agree with most of the recent changes. But she said that she feels indebted to the babies; they depend on her and she does not think she can leave them. She said (and I completely believe this) that every night when she lays down to go to sleep, each baby's face goes through her mind and she thinks about whether or not she gave that baby enough attention, or if she fed that baby on time, etc. And she is totally like that - she is amazing. She said how hard it is for her when babies move up to the toddler room because she doesn't get to see them much anymore. I almost cried when she was talking to me, because we have not turned in our 2 week notice yet and it is going to kill me to take Alex away from her. He's been there for 10 mos and they know everything he's been through - with his club feet, and his horrible bouts of reflux those first 9 months of his life, and they know his schedule and his personality and his likes/dislikes. It scares me that I'll be now giving him to brand new people that we don't know, and that don't know him.

BUT his new school will be more of a "school" and a better learning environment. I will say that where he is now is basically babysitting - except when he's with Kamlah. She is not his official teacher anymore now that he has moved to the Infant II room, but she is just on the other side of a 1/2 wall and keeps close tabs on her babies that move up. That is very reassuring to me. His new school has lesson plans and a structured schedule and I know in the end it will be the best thing for him- I can only imagine how fast he will learn and grow. And I know it's completely selfish of me to feel so bad about taking him away from his school and friends. But still ...

When I picked him up yesterday, he was playing with his little buddy, Thomas. They are close in age and seem to always stick together. I watched them for a few minutes before Alex saw me, and again, I started to feel so bad about taking that away from him. I know I'm being irrational, because he's 15 months for goodness sake, and I know very well that he'll make new friends, and that his new teachers will be just fine with him.

But I laid in bed last night, almost in tears, worrying about this. This is one of many decisions I will make for him over his lifetime and it is just a very scary thought to know that any wrong decision a parent makes, can rock their whole world. How do we know we're making the right ones??

So please keep us in your thoughts that this probably inconsequential (sp?) decision will be the right one for Alex and that starting June 1st, he will begin to soar and that he will enjoy his new teachers and friends. One major benefit that I will enjoy is the new school has video monitoring, so that topped with the fact I'll only be 5 min away, is a definite plus. :)

Thanks for "listening" to me vent. :)

Video

Here's the video of Alex walking with his walker at home that I mentioned in my last blog. He's gotten really good using it -now we just need to show him he CAN walk without it! :)

(Feel free to remind me one day when I complain about how he's walking everywhere and won't stay still... how frustrated I was that he wasn't walking at this point! lol)

It's the little things ...

It's been a while since I've updated my blog. You know how it goes - life gets in the way and things get busy, blah blah blah. :) But here's an update ...

Alex is now 13 1/2 months old - YAY! He's turning into quite the independent little man. It's fun to watch, but at the same time, it can be pretty frustrating when I'm trying to feed him yogurt, for example, and he insists on holding the spoon himself. You can imagine how messy THAT can become, so I try to always have a "main course" that he can eat himself, and then I give him something for dessert that I feed him. Baby steps...

Speaking of baby steps.... Alex has been working on those, too! He is doing really well walking with his walker at home (I have a video that I'll try to attach, but it's on my home computer, so it'll be in a separate post..) but he's not shown much interest in walking unattended at all. He will pull himself up all day long on furtniure, and will walk along the furniture, but when it comes to walking by himself, nothin'. His teacher told me he has to build his confidence first. Ok... when will that happen? So I pick him up from school on Monday and his teacher said... (drum roll please....) that he took a couple of steps by himself!! Praise the Lord. After all we've been through with his little feet, I have been waiting for the longest time for that moment. It breaks my heart that I wasn't there to see it, but just knowing he did it, gives me such joy. I have yet to see it yet, so I'm hoping he'll decide to show off for mommy and daddy any day now ....

Yesterday we had his 3 month checkup at Scottish Rite with his orthopedic doctor. He got the full exam and the usual "Everything looks great, mom!" so that's always good to hear. :) We also got a new pair of shoes for his braces. He'd been in his last pair for 6 mos, so it was time to upsize. We're so lucky that he's so good about us putting his shoes on at night. I can only imagine how hard it must be for some parents whose child fights them. We went through that the first week or so, and I would literally be crying so hard when I put them on, that I couldn't see what I was doing. But after that, Alex just has gotten used to it and honestly doesn't know any different. Other than the first 7 days of his life, he has slept in either casts or braces. He will be so excited when he is finally "free" at night! There is a lot of debate about when that day will come. Alex's dr is in favor of age 2, depending on the progress, but Dr. Ponseti's official recommendation is closer to age 4. So we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I think that's it for now - sorry for such a boring blog. I've just had so much going on that it's hard to pin point everything worth catching up on! I will include some pictures, though. I have started taking Alex to the park and he LOVES it! I can't wait till I take him and he can walk around on the equipment -he doesn't know what he's missing out on! But in the meantime, I can't tell you how much joy it brings to me to see our son so happy - all because he's suspended in the air and swinging back and forth.. It's the little things, people.

Need caffiene ...

Well, it's been an awfully long, stressful week. On Tuesday, Alex's school called me around 2:30 and said he was running a fever (102.4) and that I'd need to come pick him up. He'd had a runny nose for a while now but it hadn't been too bad yet. So I also call the dr to go ahead and have his ears looked at - try to be more proactive than reactive these days when it comes to his ears. By the time we got to the dr at 4, his temp was right under 103. They tested him for strep and flu and both were negative - whew. Said it's probably just a virus so we left with a prescription for Augmentin and headed home. I decided to keep him home with my mom on Wednesday since he can't go back to school within 24 hrs of having a fever..

So fast forward to Wednesday ... he ran a fever off and on - between 101 and 102. When I picked him up at 5:30, it was 102.9 so I gave him Tylenol. By 6:30 it was up to 104. At 7:30 it was still 104 so I called the doctor's office after hours line. That number is answered by nurses at Medical City Children's Hospital. The nurse seemed concerned that the fever wasn't coming down with the Tylenol and suggested we bring him in to be looked at.

So at 8pm, Dan, Alex, and I headed out to the ER. The room was filled of coughing kids (and some adults) and Alex was so good the whole FOUR hours we were there. Even though he certainly did not feel well, he went back and forth between people watching and laying his head on my chest (one thing we've found is that when he's sick, he definitely wants his mama *smile*)

So they take us back (finally) and he even slept through his rectal temp - I bet somewhere in there he was asking "What the...?!?!". 102.4 They took us back to a room in the ER and ran all kinds of tests - another flu and strep, and the worse was the catheder. They wanted to check for a urinary tract infection. Let's just say he did NOT like that one. Nor did I like having to stand at his head, holding his arms while they stuck that tube in ... never mind, you get the point. Once it was over, he just wanted to be held. (Can't say that I blame him!)

After more waiting... results finally came back. Strep throat. (didn't we just get a neg result the day before???) Also has an upper respiratory infection. So we left with a prescription for a new antibiotic and our fingers crossed. By the time we left the hospital, dropped off and picked up the Rx, it was 2:30 am before we finally got in bed.

Last night his fever was creeping back up to almost 103. Just kept giving him Tylenol and Motrin (switching off) hoping to give the antibiotic more time to kick in. This morning it was 101 so I'm hoping it'll start going back down any time now. I know my mom has to be sick of me calling to check on him. Poor thing is exhausted and didn't fall asleep until 10:30 pm last night, when he's normally out cold by 7:30.

So we'll see how the weekend goes and hope that the meds start working - SOON.


Funny Emily story: Dan was printing his tax paperwork the other day and asked Emily to get it off the printer for him. She picked it up and said, "Do you have to fill all of this out on your own? That's entirely too much for one man to have to do by himself." HAHA

Part Time Party Planner

It's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog, but that's because I've been terribly busy planning a first birthday party! That's right.. our baby boy is ONE years old now. Wow, that was a FAST year. It's like I blinked and now it's a year later. I was thinking yesterday, though, that one year ago to the day (on 2/19/08) Alex had his first set of casts put on. Now we're a year into his cf treatment and potentially only have a year to go! A coworker told me yesterday, "Remember when he was born and you said you can't believe you have two whole years till he doesn't have to wear his braces? And now you're halfway through it!" There's a lot of controversy out there on whether the braces should be worn for 2 years, or 4 and our dr seems to be more on the 2 yr fence, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I think it will depend on how his feet look by then. So far they look fantastic and he gets a glowing approval from the dr every visit! So fo far so good!

Now, back to the birthday party... wow, what an exhausting day/weekend! Not to mention the weeks leading up to it. Why do parents put so much into a day that the child won't even remember?? That's right, it's so WE as parents remember it. Our original plan was to only have parents and close friends. Then when we decided to invite our close friends that have a baby Alex' s age, I thought, "oh, we should also invite so and so because they have a baby close to his age.." and then it snowballed from there. I think we ended up with 20-25 people there. I bought way too much food and decorations. But I'm always of the mindset that I'd rather have too much than not enough, and I definitely succeeded in that area for this one. Oh well. He will only have one first birthday party, right? :) He got lots of toys and clothes. He got 3 different Little People sets -and loves ALL of them. They play music and have these little "people" that are plastic and he prefers chewing them vs actually playing with them at this point, but hey at least they're not just sitting in a toy box collecting dust.

Speaking of chewing.. we now have FIVE teeth. That's right, those boogars just keep popping out every time we turn around. Guess he's making up for lost time! Poor thing has been so fussy because of it but hopefully he'll get a break soon.

And he is now officially on whole milk - YAY! No more formula. AND we were able to switch him to a forward facing car seat - double YAY. He was getting way too big for that infant carrier, not to mention too darn heavy for us to carry him in it! He went to the dr on his actual b-day and he weighed 22 lbs, 3 oz and was 30 inches long. When he was born, he was 7 lbs 2 oz and 18 in long, so my baby boy is definitely growing! lol

Here are some pictures from the party, and also his "official" one year pictures. He's such a handsome little boy! (not that I'm biased or anything... ) Anyone that knows my husband always says, first thing, that he looks just like his daddy. That's where he gets his handsome-ness from. :) Every once in a while I see a little of me, and he's always looked like my dad (imo) because he arches his eyebrow and that is my dad 100%.

Anyway, happy birthday, Alex! Here's to hopefully only one more year of sleeping with braces. Every single day of his life, minus the first 7 days, he has slept with either casts or braces on. He won't know what to do to be "free" at night! :)

Good morning, birthday boy!

He wasn't a fan of the party hat..

He was, however, a fan of the cake (more so the icing)

By this point, I think he'd had enough cake... :)